Author Archive for cian



Master P’s Master Plan

Google apparently have several white boards in the googleplex with their MasterPlan on it - and ‘do not erase’ written in the corner - this is one of them. It reminds me of when I was at my previous job and we’d go into meeting rooms and draw nonsense graphs with axis like ‘Height […]

I just don’t Kea.

And I wasn’t the only slave to my nesting instinct. The people I know who used to sit in the bathroom with pornography, now they sit in the bathroom with their IKEA furniture catalogue.
~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

I hate Ikea. I really do.
I do feel bad having another rant without a compenstating rave or rhyme and […]

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That is not a sentence. I know a Detective man said that he stabbed someone down the lane (a licky boom boom down) but I’m not sure what this crucial scene setting statement means at all.

Nevermind, anyway I’m making this 1980’s white rap reference for two reasons. Firstly I have had my first and probably […]

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Pack it up, pack it in

**updated with a Ari Gold profano-remix youtubed vid at the bottom**
Site in stasis alien-style as I prepare for my big house move home. Last week ‘mexicana/hasta la vista terrorista’ house cooling party went off with a tequilla and avocado flavoured bang so photos to follow. Just finished watching all 3 series of Entourage in about […]

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“Weird Al” Yankovic - a video tribute

“Weird Al”, your punny parodies of pop videos has kept me entertained over the last 15 years since ‘Smells like Nirvana’ got extended airplay back in the halycon days of MTV. And you had a track on the soundtrack for ‘Transformers The Movie’ so you are a veritable hero of mine. With the new Michael […]

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Annotation.
It is the key to our evolution. It has enabled us to evolve from a single-celled organism into the dominant species on the planet. Wait - that’s mutation and what gave the playtpus it’s ‘no incidents in the bedroom’ one-hole and the fantastic bearded lady her fantastic beard.
I just finished a book called Mutants […]

Hammond injured in 40000mph death crash

Oohh - look at me, I’m being topical. Normally my posts are unrelated to my life, current affairs or nerd news to the point where it could be being broadcast by a Nigerian 419 scammer on his off day, but reading about Hammond’s injury in the tabloids really touched a nerve. I liked Top Gear, […]

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As a bag of nails

Magnus Ver Magnusson?

The Hulk?

Tony Jaa?

‘Iron’ Mike Tyson?

Phil Mitchell?

Who is the hardest man in the world? Who eats horseshoes for breakfast, tears up phone books over lunch, takes pitta pockets straight from the toaster for tea then invites and fights bears for dinner? Wesley Snipes? Gillian McKeith? Kim Deal from the Pixies? I actually had a […]

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Mini-meme.

Meme. C’est que c’est? Webster’s dictionary defines it as
(1) strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers.
Wait that’s love. What’s love got to do with it? Nothing - nothing at all.
A meme, accordingly to the Daily […]

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A Litany of Litigious Actions

Is that the correct collective noun? My current favourite is a business of ferrets. In a recursive sense it would be cool if the collective noun for businesses was a ferret.

“Ok - let’s take the Q4 projections offline.”
Therefore you could have a ferret of businesses of business ferrets who own a ferret of businesses […]

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Quotasaurus

Everybody's dick look big on 60-inch TV, my sister's dick look big on TV.
Mooj - 40 year old virgin