Fidel Gastro’s

Meme. C’est que c’est? Webster’s dictionary defines it as

(1) strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers.

Wait that’s love. What’s love got to do with it? Nothing - nothing at all.

A meme, accordingly to the Daily Mail oracle ‘Wikipedia’, refers to a unit of cultural information that can be transmitted from one mind to another. Again according to the National Enquirer sister site ‘Wikipedia’ - an internet meme occurs when something relatively unknown becomes hugely popular through the mass propagation of media content made feasible by the Internet.
Um. Okay. Basically it’s the digital-jelly that clogs your inboxes and makes you laugh so your mid-morning soy skinny latte comes out your nose. Jedi Kid, Subservient Chicken, Evolution of Dance etc etc - open that email, click the link, check for the boss, smirk and forward.

My closest experience to the speed of the meme was as a conduit a while back involving Brian Wilson from the Beach Boys, two of my mates and the legend himself - The Hoff.

So I was cleaning out the kennel nude and it just backed into me.

So the evolution of this meme started on a dark stormy Thursday night at the Royal Festival Hall where crazy Brian Wilson was performing the much awaitened and belated Smile album. Some of my friends attended and were much amused when reporting back by the appearance of Michael Knight himself during the proceedings. Bubbling over with Knight Industries 2000 enthusiam they went to describe the scenario at the interval.

Hasselhoff, in London performing in Chicago, sauntered across the front row during the break with his trademark bouffant, waving self-confidently to the crowd; million dollar smile and million dollar talking car in the car park. Most of the public applauded his appearance but one American, obviously unhappy with the Hoff’s European album success, stood up and started bellowing

YOU’RE NOTHING WITHOUT YOUR ROBOT CAR, NOTHING.

At the same time truth-factory Popbitch were conducting a Hassel-watch where readers were encouraged to inform the superior-slander-site any sighting of the Hoff in London. I told another mate (my sole involvement in this process) about the ‘Robot Car’ incident who then emails hello@popbitch.com.

A week passes.

Popbitch newsletter arrives in my inbox.

And the subject line?

“You’re nothing without your robot car, nothing”

Holy shit - I jump out my chair “Dude - it’s in popbitch - we’ve made it!!!”. Cue near man-love hugging at our joy for being featured. There were real people on the other side of the internet and we could interact with them. “WE HAVE MEANING!!!”. In the body of the email featured the following, mirroring the email that was sent to them.

“Last weekend David Hasslehoff paid a visit to the Festival Hall to see Brian Wilson, where he was heckled by an American man shouting, ‘You are nothing without your robot car, NOTHING!’”.

Two weeks passes

The meme lightly explodes like a small badly constructed pipe bomb. It gets picked up by blogs and other lunchtime entertainment sites and enters the blogosphere at full pelt. Nerd comments fly.

Another week passes.

I discover I could buy the T-shirt online. $20 on an American Apparel T. Was I in a ketamine induced coma? Was it just a wonderful dream? Oh no. It was very real and screen-printed.

A few weeks after that, my friend, who originally attended the Brian Wilson concert, sees someone in the street sporting said T-shirt. His brain explodes all over Upper Street - fragments splattered outside the B&O shop, Islingtonites tutting and walking briskly past his body. Too much for one man to handle.
But 2 years later where is it now? Faded, forgotten, folklore. Much like Fred Savage and The Raccoons - it has disappeared into the annals of time and gin-soaked memory. Who remembers? Who knows? Who cares? Who dares? Wins. Doctor Who dares Dan Dare to win Michael Winner’s heart. I digress.

Anyway the meme-circle was complete. From zero to hero to zero. A Google search for “you’re nothing without your robot car” still comes back with 562 results. The soft cotton T-shirt is still stocked and worn. And the Hoff? Ever popular and still looking for freedom.