Fidel Gastro’s

(Voice over guy)
“In a world gone mad, one man has the courage to prove himself against a system hell bent on destruction.

*Words flash onto the screen*

Laurence Tureaud.
Mr T.
Actor
Wrestler
Boxer
Skilled Mechanic
Poet
*Image flashes on screen of Mr T*

“He fought cancer, Hulk Hogan, Rocky, and a fear of flying. But next summer see the man without recognition for his academic achievements up against greatest fight of his life.

Against the education system. “

*Explosion*
*Doves flying*
*Mr T slowly turning to the camera*
*Waves crashing*
*Doves*
*Focus on T’s furrowed brow”
“I AIN’T NO-ONE’S FOOL”
*Explosion*

If my grassroots campaign were a John Woo film that would be the trailer. Maybe followed by a ‘Bad Boys’ style, low level, panning to the sky, shot of Mr T and Face getting up from a Ferrari 360 into wall crash and T slowly taking his chains off and throwing them to the ground. And then SUMMER 2007 exploding onto the screen in some Ghetto-Gothic script with “Jesus Walks” by Kanye over the credits.

What grassroots campaign I hear you all ask? A fantastic question. This campaign is to get Mr T (or his fictional character B.A. Baracus) an hononary degree from his alma mater Prairie View A&M University, Texas.

But why? What use can a degree do T now? Apart from the CV points/kudos/linkedin profile/big black pride (i.e snubbing Kanye West at the next MTV Music Awards for dropping out), he could achieve either one of two amazing goals.

Either transform himself with a Doctorate from Mr T to Dr T; though if he ever became a consultant surgeon he’d be back to Mr T.

Or let his alter-ego BA Baracus get a Batchelors in some noddy social science and become BA Baracus BA.

If we set our standards even higher then we could be seeing BA Baracus MBA on our screens soon. In Spain he’s known as MA Baracus (MA standing for Mala Actitud) so it’s like he went to Cambridge and got a bogus MA for not going to jail/mental/the morgue. So maybe for spanish speaking countries we’d need some kind of Post-grad diploma to get to MA Baracus MA.

Anyway these are just details. I had done research and fictional characters have been awarded Honorary degrees, notably Kermit the Frog from Southampton. But Praire View might have other thoughts so a dual approach of a Doctorate for Mr T and a BA for BA will the way forward.

What are the next steps? Petition the hell out of Praire View. YEAH. But put your guns down and step away from the hairgel/ipod bombs. This is a peaceful protest and first we’ll need to nominate a subject for his degree. Suggestions in the comments please.