Fidel Gastro’s

Superman Returns. mmh.
Saw this last Thursday at the Imax. The imax experience is good but the 3d suffers in fast action sequences. I was hoping for Jaws 3d old-skool red/blue glasses so Kate Bosworth’s eyes looked the same colour but no, it’s polarised eyewear these days so she’s still looks slightly cock-eyed but strangely hot.
My comic-nerd verdict?

Not sure. Lots of homages and references to the previous films and comics but appeasing the inner-geek does not a film make.

Plot? Basically Lex’s grand scheme was to create a new spikey Giant’s Causeway-esque continent using Superman’s crystal sticks and become a real estate tycoon. On top of “killing millions, no BILLIONS” of people. Sexy.

So here we have it - not the most attractive of alien-crystal generated continents; even Foxtons Estate Agents would have trouble selling property on this morbidly desolate plot out in the middle of the Atlantic.

“So let’s see this one. Mmmh - it’s perfect for you, a real fixer-upper for a first-time buyer and you can really make it your own. The area is definitely up and coming (out of the ocean) and you’ll have great access to local amenities (the ocean). Plus the landlord is a real angel. “

Brandon Routh sort of worked - looked a bit like Reeves, sounded a bit like Reeves but didn’t part his hair the other way when being Superman like Reeves. Given 1979’s Superman’s disguise was glasses and the opposite side-parted hair, I was scared this Clark was going to get spotted by his co-workers at the Planet. It never happened.
Anyway one of the plus points is that it finally resolved the epic ‘Mallrats’ debate.
*Spoiler Alert* Highlight to reveal

Brodie: Lois could never have Superman’s baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it’s strong enough to carry his child?

Brodie Bruce: He’s an alien for Christ sake! His Kryptonian biological makeup is enhanced by Earth’s yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan, the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him.

6 Cian’s out of 10. Down from a 7 because Kal Penn (from Harold and Kumar) only had 1 line. Waste.
Now ‘The Dark Knight‘ with Bale and Ledger is what I’m waiting for in 2008 and Spidey 3 looks like (with the black suit, Sandman, Gwen Stacey and Venom) to be one to beat next summer.