Fidel Gastro’s

I have discovered today at the gym that this week on MTV is ‘Hot and Horny Week’. This consists of mainly Spring Break type programming and features a lot of extremely good looking bikini’d women covered in shaving foam and paint. The down side is having to see all the thick necked, muscle bound American jocks shouting ‘Hell Yeah’ and getting laid with improbable frequency.
Despite this, I think you could legitimately take a week of work to watch it 24/7.

‘Hi Steve, I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it into work this week, I’m not feeling 100%’
‘Oh, that’s terrible Bob, what have you got?’
‘At this moment?’
‘Yes Bob’
‘’My dick in my hand, actually’

A week later you walk back into work and into a wall.

So Eastenders have decided to introduce an Asian family into Walford, which has to be a good thing. However I have noticed a disturbing 80’s film trend that has resurfaced with this latest addition to the Square.
In both Gandhi and Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom, most of the Asian cast seemed to be played by white guys daubed in brown paint. Now despite there being more than a billion brownies who would quite happily eat a squash racket for 10p, it apparently was still cheaper to paint white people back in ‘84.
20 years on and it still is. A bit of boot-polish has turned the Taylor family from Romford into the Ferreira’s of Walford.

Brown Beppe (Bam-ba-Lam)

Brown Zoe

I am still still watching Big Brother. I am waiting for Ray to get ale’d again and smash Lisa’s stupid face in with a pint glass.

‘Day 65 2.30 am. Lisa is bleeding heavily from a nasty face wound. Ray is in the diary room laughing.’