Archive for July, 2003

NOTTINGHAMANDEGGS

Print. Cut out each line. Arrange for some idea of last weekend.
SMELLING OF PETROL, SWEAT, KETCHUP
DRINKING PORT WITH CURRY
GOING TO AMERICAN DINER FOR BREAKFAST
DRINKING POTATO BASED ALCOHOL
ATTEMPTING TO EAT A SAVLOY WHOLE
DOING A ‘COLE TRICKLE’ AT GO-KARTING
DRINKING GRAPE BASED ALCOHOL
WATCHING VIDEOS OF NARCOLEPTIC GOATS
JUMPING IN FREEZING COLD SWIMMING POOL AT 2AM
STICKING WHOLE LIME IN MOUTH
DRINKING […]

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on rye? on special offer?

The Dixon’s Sale. Has anyone ever walked into the electric retailer during their sale and said ‘Can I have a black circumsized one please?’
Good weekend this weekend. 2 hour Tennis session on Sat morning at exceptionally poor standard. Saturday evening was spent at Kenwood House at a Frank Sinatra tribute concert. Excellent even though it […]

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K-Y-L-I-E

Proper post tomorrow. Summary of week. Went home last weekend and got the use of a million quid pad with heated pool. Bit of tennis, lots of lash. This week, work, sleep, burn dvd, work, sleep, burn dvd … Saw the Hulk. I liked it. A lot different to most of the summer blockbusters and […]

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Vice Shitty

Went to Timmy Taylor’s b-day last weekend at Carwash. Theme was Miami Beach Party - 80’s style. I sourced a pair of tight white trousers, a pink shirt and duly looked like a washed out Tubbs from Miami Vice. I had wanted to turn up true GTA: Vice City style; roll into the club […]

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Hot and Horninda

I have discovered today at the gym that this week on MTV is ‘Hot and Horny Week’. This consists of mainly Spring Break type programming and features a lot of extremely good looking bikini’d women covered in shaving foam and paint. The down side is having to see all the thick necked, muscle bound American […]

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Shagaluf

Here are some pics of our villa in Majorca.

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Highlight of my day

is being the first to use the latrine this morning. So clean. So, so, so clean. Virgin clean. Not any more.
I feel like a filthy marauding Visigoth pillaging a Japanese kimono shop in Kyoto on it’s opening day. Ah, beautiful.

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The bunghole stores the poop

Not sure if people remember I asked the Examination Board around using slang in exams. I got a reply; which was cc’ed to the head of the UK QCA board and around 10 other members of the QCA. Not sure whether to laugh out loud or to laugh nervously expecting some kind of exam related […]

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Knock off the hippie shit, strap on a helmet, and start shooting. This is Malibu, Emily, I want you to storm that beach like it's fuckin' Normandy!
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