Fidel Gastro’s

Mmh. Not sure about the new gang this time round. They all look like animals.

Justine is a wascaly wabbit.
Federico is a smooth yet slimey gecko
Steph is a little mouse
Nush is a gerbil
Gos is a Silverback Gorilla (Male)
Jon is a trapped and shaved David Baddiel. Same voice. Less funny. More tedious.

Jon

An adult Baddiel. (recently shorn for shawl production factory)

Personally I can’t wait to appear in next year’s series. My strategy will be two fold.

A) Constantly swear and libel celebrities (especially Donna Air). I will take a deep breath every morning and let it go. Sitting in the corner I’ll be dribbling obsenities like a tourettic monkey with SARS. Everyone in the house will hate me but the public will never see it. I will be nominated every week but never voted out.
When I reach the final two, the Sun will proclaim ‘Hidden Asian Shocks Nation’.

B) Piss in the milk every night.

Big Brother: “Day 32. 12.30 am. Everyone is asleep except Cian. He is urinating in the semi-skimmed again “

The general public will hate me but the contestants will never find out. As they say each morning ‘Mmmh has this milk gone off?’, I will sit knowing I will never be nominated. When I reach the final two I will go out in the blaze of golden glory.
The Sun run a hate campaign during the entire event. “Milk Pisser Must Go”