This weekend I was initiated into an elite sect know only as MACantab.Following a link on www.fakedegreesforfreemasons.com I discovered that I could join this Masonic-like group with the merely ability to prove that I have successfully avoided death/not lost my hands in the last 3 years. In return for this I would be ordained into their order, receive a free buffet lunch and change a letter after my name. I offered them a “�50 off a GameCube” Voucher and pair of Nike Air Max95’s if they could change the EERESINGHE to a ILLIAMS but I was told that only “B” to “M” was available. I suddenly felt a pang of sorrow for Tim Basterbater.
I duly traveled to Cambridge and made my way to the Meeting Rooms known as ‘Ryder and Amies’. I was dressed in a black cloak and hood, and forced to march somberly down the “Parade of Kings” and entered the “House of Senates”. Expecting 13 trials of endurance, stamina and aquatic dexterity, the description of the procedure surprised me with its seeming ease and lack of homoerotic undertones. However this was not to last.
With 4 others, I stood in the opulent hall in my robes and gently tugged the Pralector’s thick and meaty finger. Suddenly without warning, he began to babble in ancient tongues and forced me down on my knees. Bellowing in this harsh pagan language, he told me to beg for forgiveness from the Grand High-Chancellor. I then blacked out with white lights flashing in my eyes.
Afterwards I clambered to my feet and received a knowing and sordid nod from my conqueror. I gingerly walked out and grasped a handrail, shaking in the knowledge that now I was truly a Master of Arts.
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