Fidel Gastro’s

Most of us have played Jenga. Some of the taller of us play Giant Jenga just to get a better perspective of this wood block game. With giant Connect 4 and giant Chess available there is a small trend of gigantifying board games. But what’s next on the list? Our Board Game Reporter Matt Tel looks at the growing and somewhat worrying line of childhood games awaiting Giant Treatment.

1. Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Take 1 swimming pool. Tie down a full grown hippo to each corner. Fill the swimming pool with cannonballs and using sledgehammers, smash the hippos in the small of the back to try and make them eat the cannonballs.

2. Kerplunk

Take an oildrum. Insert javelins through the middle of the drum. Fill the top with cannonballs (yes,yes - more cannonballs). Kerrrr-plunk away.

3. Pop Up Pirate

Brian Blessed. Wooden Barrel. Swords. Not so “pop-up” as it usually ends up with the barrel full of skewered fat man.

4. Mr Pop

Take an average looking man. Instruct him that he is going to have to have extensive plastic surgery performed on him. Lay him on the specially modified operating table which is spring loaded to fire the upper half of the table from horizontal to vertical in less than 100ms. Next, with little or no instruction, perform a rhinoplastry, face lift, eyelid tuck and collogen lip implants in 10 minutes or less. At any point after the 10 minutes the table could spring-fire to the vertical position potentially resulting in accidential scapel slippage or face fall-off scenario.

5. Operation
Take a patient suffering from no more than a heavy cold. Without their consent you have to perform a funny bone removal using nothing but a pair of salad-tongs attached to a 12V battery.
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Thanks Matt. Shocking. Over to you Felix.

“The women of Alaska actually smell of blubber.”