Hard to Ill

Jeez. Has the world gone mad? There seems to be a reoccurant blurring between reality and 80’s action heros. Firstly Crockett is busted for money laundering and now Steven Seagal has actually put two members of the notorious Gambino family behind bars.

In the current climate I’m half expecting next to hear that Arnie has single handedly rescued Chelsea Clinton from a group of FARC terrorists using a circular saw blade and a gatling gun.

Did Steve look back at his role in ‘Out for Justice’ after a troublesome Dharma session and decide he should use his Aikido street fighting skills to crack some mobster heads. Believing he was again, Gino Felino, he sought to get vengeance for his best friend, Bobbby Lupo, murdered in cold blood in front of his wife.

Some people don’t know that, as well as being the 7th Degree Black Belt Aikido Master, the Movie Star, the Musician, the Buddhist Practitioner and the Humanitarian, Steven Seagal is also the Constipated Wankface.

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On the movie theme, the Something Awful goons have excelled in their latest Comedy Goldmine theme ‘Movie Prequels’.

This is my favourite.

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You have all one job today, to get Vincent Chase's brother Johnny Chase a job. Any job. I don't care if it is a porn shoot in which he is being gang-raped by a gaggle of silverback apes. If there are cameras rolling, everybody wins
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